Horrible Rotten Day

Today was just one of those horrible, rotten days you just want to forget. A's sick and miserable, G's sick and miserable, C is on the mend and bored to death and S is mad because we've missed her last day of swimming lessons. Somehow though in the midst of all this (as I can say looking back because in the moment was sheer misery) they are still amazing and have their moments of fun and creativity. So I thought being grateful is thinking about and reflecting on my day (other than the vomiting and lots of pooping going on). It included S pulling C around on a leash (kitty C), a bucket full of ice and soap-four kids- and a whole assortment of stirring devices making some soupy concoction with chef S at the helm.

The poop patrol on the lookout for doggie doo in the backyard which A insists for some reason unbeknownst to me must be picked up IMMEDIATELY regardless of what I am doing.

The care and concern for your sister or brother. When I go in to find G (even though he is clearly sick too) sneaking in to check on A hugging her and asking her if she's okay.

Sick kids sleeping in bathtubs.

But the BEST of all and today really stuck out in my mind was the 20 minutes or so we all spent together in the backyard this evening. A sitting in my lap, C and S working the soccer ball and W tyring to teach G to throw the baseball overhanded instead of the underhanded pitch he was insisting on (along with sound effects of woosh or swish). I don't know what it was about tonight but it was just special being all together as a family in the backyard playing.

On another note I don't remember from childhood was the locust chirping all day long. The kids actually think they are talking to them and it's so funny to listen to the kids ask them "questions" just to get a "sbuzz" in return.

Life is GOOD. God is good and maybe it's time I start recording to remember and start living in the MOMENT instead of worrying and anxiety about what's next. Guess we will see.......

Greatful Journal

Apparently I am the world's worst journaler (if that's even a word). Today I was cleaning out the closet when I came across a "grateful" journal I had kept about ten years ago. I remember picking out that journal what seemed like years ago and remembering how I would forever write down everyday a little piece of my history. I think I made it all of 10 or so days before life once again became too busy to write, but oh how I enjoyed looking back at a snippet of that time in my life.

Today my life is vastly different. For starters I am ten years older. To wish away youth is such a foolish thing that as you age you would give almost anything to get it back. But the biggest change is that I am a MOM. It still seems so surreal to me that I am the adult with the husband, kids, dog and beautiful house. When did I grow up and start having to deal with adult situations? The thing I miss most about being young is not worrying about what lies ahead. Now that I'm a bit older I constantly worry about what the future holds for our family, the health and well being of the kids, Walter and myself. With that comes ANXIETY about what's ahead-something that is a bit new for me. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade where I am now for anything in the world but I could do without the anxiousness I feel, the questions I have-am I a good mother? am I am good partner/wife? Those things seem to weigh heavily on me as I try to balance time for everyone in the process of trying to reconnect to who I really am. I've lost sight at times of just living in the moment rather than the day to day grind and worrying about the future. Today was one of those days I don't want to loose in that day to day existence so instead I've picked up the pen yet again to see where it will lead me. Maybe just today, tomorrow, next week or not again for years but once again I've found a snippet of time to record so another 10 years from now I can see how far our family has come.

We're Back!

Okay so it has only taken me almost a year to get back on our blogger account! After changing email accounts and then addresses along with a little sleep deprivation in there somewhere and not being able to recover passwords we are now back on line. I won't even begin to promise regular updates because there is just nothing like 3 three year olds and a 5 year old to make you super crazy busy and well just a little plain crazy too! Hoping soon to update with some pictures as the past year has pretty much flown by and well our "babies" are no longer babies!