Greatful Journal

Apparently I am the world's worst journaler (if that's even a word). Today I was cleaning out the closet when I came across a "grateful" journal I had kept about ten years ago. I remember picking out that journal what seemed like years ago and remembering how I would forever write down everyday a little piece of my history. I think I made it all of 10 or so days before life once again became too busy to write, but oh how I enjoyed looking back at a snippet of that time in my life.

Today my life is vastly different. For starters I am ten years older. To wish away youth is such a foolish thing that as you age you would give almost anything to get it back. But the biggest change is that I am a MOM. It still seems so surreal to me that I am the adult with the husband, kids, dog and beautiful house. When did I grow up and start having to deal with adult situations? The thing I miss most about being young is not worrying about what lies ahead. Now that I'm a bit older I constantly worry about what the future holds for our family, the health and well being of the kids, Walter and myself. With that comes ANXIETY about what's ahead-something that is a bit new for me. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade where I am now for anything in the world but I could do without the anxiousness I feel, the questions I have-am I a good mother? am I am good partner/wife? Those things seem to weigh heavily on me as I try to balance time for everyone in the process of trying to reconnect to who I really am. I've lost sight at times of just living in the moment rather than the day to day grind and worrying about the future. Today was one of those days I don't want to loose in that day to day existence so instead I've picked up the pen yet again to see where it will lead me. Maybe just today, tomorrow, next week or not again for years but once again I've found a snippet of time to record so another 10 years from now I can see how far our family has come.